Excerpt About Absence
Accepting Aloneness is Needed for Real Contact to HappenBut you have to allow yourself to feel that absence, feel the aloneness – which is the hole of the real relationship – before you will be able to experience the real relationship. You have to experience the absence of it completely – no relationship, I’m empty, nothing there, no contact. When you feel that way, you may also feel that you are not real, that you do not exist, because you cannot exist without relationship. The moment you allow the negative relationship to go, the mental relationship to go, the ego starts freaking out, starts disintegrating, disappearing, and the aloneness will be felt as some sort of emptiness, some kind of absence of self. So when the mental relationship goes, the part that is relating to it goes, too, and you start feeling the absence of self, an emptiness which will be felt as an aloneness. When the aloneness is accepted and tolerated, it is then possible for real contact to happen, and not before that.