Excerpt About Idealization
This understanding clarifies narcissistic idealization, which supports a feeble and shaky sense of self and also demonstrates that all kinds of idealization, whether we call them primitive or mature, function to shore up one’s identity. Because of its intrinsic incompleteness and unreality, the normal identity always needs this support, regardless of how strong this identity might be felt to be. In fact, it is our understanding that all idealizations are simply variations, on and reflections of, the narcissistic idealization. We see then that any identity based on ego structures (which is true of both the normal identity and the grandiose self of the pathologically narcissistic individual) inevitably needs external support, such as the idealization of others. This also explains why the normal individual develops deep idealizing transferences similar to those exhibited by narcissistic personalities, when dealing with the aspect of his spiritual transformation relating to the sense of identity. In our work, we understand this development of the narcissistic idealization as intensification of normal idealizations, due to the greater narcissistic need for support which arises when the normal identity is challenged by expanding spiritual transformation.