Excerpt About Ipseity
The interplay of involvement and spontaneity, presence and absence, is beautiful and deeply satisfying. I am myself, without a feeling of self. I merely function as my own nature. That is why calling the absolute “ipseity” feels more accurate than thinking of it as ultimate reality or truth. It is the ultimate reality that is both the self and the self-nature.The passionate intensity and fierceness of presence gives this way of being the flavor of a love affair. The process of the realization of the absolute continues to expose deep components of the personality, revealing other implications of the truth of the ultimate nature of myself and the world. This process confronts me again and again with the animal states and tendencies of the libidinal soul: insecurity, fear, vulnerability, helplessness, and so on. When I relax, the passionate burning arises, along with the hot tears. Then the ipseity, the luminous crystal blackness, shines through. I again experience this mystery as both the self and the nature of everything. I see the universe as a beautiful appearance, like a luminous veil over the mysterious darkness. Sometimes I see the absolute; sometimes I feel and sense it, as a luminous crystal presence of black clarity. A particular perception begins to dominate: awareness of the ipseity as the self. The perception is that I am the ipseity, but it is different from any experience of any other dimension. There is no sense or feeling of I, identity, or self. The beingness of ipseity has no conceptual quality. But there is a perception, or apperception, that it is none other than I. It is a perception of the ipseity being the beingness of me, without the feeling of me. The I is not the familiar I, whether ego or essence. I know it is I because I am it. There is nothing else that is I. It is the sense of complete subjectivity. This is recognizing the subject that is I.