Excerpt About Mental Relationships
If we delineate these mental relationships, we can distinguish three kinds that our mind is engaged in all or most of the time. There is the positive one, which is usually an idealized relationship. The other person is an idealized other—all wonderful, powerful, good, perfect, whatever the idealization is. You feel when you are with that person, everything will be wonderful, and you will be taken care of, loving, melted, and so on. That is what we call the all-good, idealized relationship. The moment you know you are feeling that way in a relationship, you can take it for granted that it is a mental one, not a real one. Also, when people are in that kind of relationship, they feel that they are completely in love. But you can be sure that your feeling of being in love is in your mind and not real, because it is not taking into consideration the real relationship.