Excerpt About Mental Relationships
If there is no real contact, there is no real relationship. So you have to constantly activate one of those mental relationships because you cannot tolerate being with no relationship in your mind. You cannot live without relationship, so there is always an activation of some kind of mental relationship. That is why most of the time people are thinking about other people. If you examine your thoughts about other people, you will see that you categorize them into these three groups. You are always engaged in some kind of relationship in your mind. You do not allow yourself to be alone. You do not allow yourself to feel the absence of the real relationship. But you have to allow yourself to feel that absence, feel the aloneness—which is the hole of the real relationship—before you will be able to experience the real relationship. You have to experience the absence of it completely—no relationship, I’m empty, nothing there, no contact. When you feel that way, you may also feel that you are not real, that you do not exist, because you cannot exist without relationship. The moment you allow the negative relationship to go, the mental relationship to go, the ego starts freaking out, starts disintegrating, disappearing, and the aloneness will be felt as some sort of emptiness, some kind of absence of self. So when the mental relationship goes, the part of you that is relating to it goes, too, and you start feeling the absence of self, an emptiness which will be felt as an aloneness. When the aloneness is accepted and tolerated, it is then possible for real contact to happen, and not before that.