Excerpt About Personality

Feeling that You are an Empty Shell

At the beginning the child seems to have a significance. This is not a mental or inferred significance. The identity of the child is not dependent on something external. Children are real, true to themselves. They have a connectedness, a oneness, rather than disharmony. The child is one entity, responding and reacting and behaving as a whole, not as this part and then that part. That happens later. There isn’t even a distinction between Essence and personality. The child is simply one beingness. As the child grows older, this unity of experience is lost. What causes the transition? Something that was there has been lost, and something that is fake has taken its place. This is what we call “false personality.” If you go very deep inside yourself, you’ll see that what you take yourself to be is not real. One way of experiencing this is feeling that you are an empty shell, with nothing of any significance inside. The ego identity, the core of the personality with its sense of self, can be directly felt as a dry, empty shell. When you see through the personality shell and become aware of the emptiness inside, you become aware of the sense of meaninglessness, worthlessness, and the insignificance. We usually feel this emptiness in vague ways, rather than directly. But when we confront the situation deeply, we feel like a kind of egg shell with nothing inside. When people perceive this empty shell, they often feel, “Why should I live?” There is nothing there, no significance. Everything in the world becomes meaningless. It doesn’t hold any interest. Snow falls and there is no one there to appreciate it. In such a state of meaninglessness I don’t even know what it’s like to appreciate something. I’m not there. How can a deficient emptiness appreciate beautiful falling snow?

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