Excerpt About Seeing
When you really get into seeing things about yourself, it’s very painful. You say, “Oh, am I really that jealous?” or “Am I really that dependent, or that angry?” You don’t like it, but something in you says, “I want to feel this and get to the bottom of it.” Nobody’s making you do it. In that moment, what is compelling you? In the middle of the experience, it’s no longer the motivation you thought you had; that motivation is not in your mind any more. What is motivating you is your desire to see the truth. Seeing the truth becomes fulfilling in itself; it seems to bring some subtle pleasure and joy. So you want to see the truth regardless of how difficult it is. So looking at this experience can take us closer to what truth is. It is no longer a question of what is a true statement or perception. There is something more. It is, in a sense, that the truth wants itself. When the truth is manifesting, you want it. Essence wants to realize itself, and the more truth there is, the more it is realized. When you’re working in this way, the impulse comes from such a deep place that you don’t even think about it. You are just attracted. That’s what is called “the love of truth for its own sake.” You want it not because you want to get rid of your fear, or to achieve this or that, but
simply because you want to possess the truth. The truth itself is what you want. It is such a deep, compelling desire that when it is there, nothing can stand in its way. You might be in the middle of tremendous pain, but somehow the truth makes you go through it, and it’s fine.