Excerpt About Theory of Holes
Child's Response to the Loss of Merging LoveWhen merging love is lost, there is left in its place a vacuum, an emptiness, a hole in the being. Merging love of essence is a fullness – something is there. It is a delicate, soft fullness, a substantial presence. So its loss leaves an experience of absence, a lack, that is acutely and painfully felt by the child… Thus the child learns not to feel the loss and the consequent emptiness. He learns to fill the emptiness, to cover it up, to bury it. He not only relegates it to the unconscious, he actually fills it with all kinds of emotions, beliefs, dreams and fantasies.